Parental Advice, With Fatherly
Benedicte Lassalle for Parachute
Fatherly is a digital lifestyle guide for men entering parenthood. The site delivers expert-driven, evidenced-based parenting insights along with product and service suggestions tailored by age.
We’re fans of any site that offers instructions on turning the living room into an epic pillow fort. Beyond the pearls of wisdom they dole out daily on subjects ranging from hide-and-go-seek to family travel hacks, we had a few questions for the Fatherly team pertaining to dads and sleep, specifically…
What inspired Fatherly, and how do you differ from other parenting sites?
Fatherly was inspired by all the shifts that are happening in the modern workplace and home. As women achieve parity at work, there’s been a subsequent rise in parity between men and women in the division of responsibilities with raising kids. But the parenting media space doesn’t really reflect this — there are tons of great resources out there, but they’re almost entirely implicitly or explicitly speaking to women. The more guys are equal partners in parenting, the more often they’ll have questions or problems that are specific to their experience as parents. Fatherly aims to provide answers and solutions, as well as a platform for all parents to engage with each other.
If you are a working parent with long business hours, what is your advice for carving time? Is a morning or evening bonding ritual more impactful?
The most important thing is shortening your hours. A lot of guys will scoff at that, but in our experience there are only a handful of situations that consistently demand 55-60 hour work weeks, and there are a lot of people caught up in work cultures where those hours are expected but not at all warranted.
That said, we find our kids (who are infants) to be way more engaged, entertaining and responsive in the morning hours. We’re always home for bedtime, but they call that The Witching Hour for a reason.
What is your sleeping advice for fathers adjusting to life with a newborn?
It’s not quite as bad as it’s often made out to be. Yes, you’re going to have to adjust to a lot less sleep than you’re used to, but fathers have been doing this for generations (not as many generations as mothers, but still…) and collectively, we’ve all survived. Try not to sweat it too hard, and they’ll go to college soon. Also, coffee.
What is Fatherly’s take on co-sleeping? Is there an optimal time to transition children from the parents’ bed to their own? Please share your findings.
Fatherly’s take on co-sleeping is the same as our take on most parenting techniques: There’s a broad spectrum of ways to go about it, and we’ll never presume to know which one is best for any one family. The fathers of Fatherly have (so far) chosen not to co-sleep, but we know plenty of parents for whom it works great.
What is the most surprisingly helpful parenting tip or product you’ve come across at Fatherly? Please share with us!
As every new parent knows, this is a surprisingly personal question — again, no one thing works for everyone, and there are no silver bullets. That said, one thing we’ve learned with a newborn in Brooklyn is that strollers can be a pain and a carrier is key. But every kid reacts differently to every carrier — fortunately, we’ve tried nearly every single one and had great luck with the Beco Soleil. So, if you have a kid roughly the same size and shape, with the same disposition as our daughters, then it’s the carrier for you!
As for tips, we’re fans of the old standby: “Relax, whatever it is that’s happening right now won’t be happening in 5 minutes.”